Creative Cooking: Bread in Five Minutes a Day

No-knead bread started showing up on several of my favorite food blogs quite a while ago. I've also been meaning to read this book (unfortunately, I'm a complete cheapskate, so the book has not been purchased).

I really loved the five-minutes-a-day idea because sometimes I can be kind of lazy when it comes to cooking (this is a problem because my husband thinks that tater-tot casserole, chili mac, and meatloaf count as "meals" (Hey Mom Alston! Sorry you haven't won me over to the meatloaf loving way of life! I still hate it but appreciate your conversion efforts!). The basic premise of this philosophy is that you make a big batch of dough and use it daily/almost daily over the course of two weeks. I settled on trying this recipe, which was recommended as a good starting place. (You can also just have at it with a simple ratio, but I was lazy wasn't confident enough.)




You begin by throwing all of the ingredients together. (I use my KitchenAid because I heart it.) I doubled the recipe because I wanted enough for eight loaves instead of four.




The dough will seem pretty runny, but that's okay.

When you realize that you got confused and tripled the amount of salt, baking soda, and yeast, you need to go back and add more water and flour, thus making enough dough for twelve loaves.





The dough needs to sit on the counter for a couple of hours. If you want to be able to use your Kitchen Aid during the resting time, you should probably transfer the dough to another container. If you had a momentary brain lapse and tripled the recipe because you were too lazy to use ratios, you will probably need to let the dough rest in two bowls...





But, you should make sure that they are both big bowls. Otherwise you will have an overflowing mess after two hours.





Feel free to use quick thinking and put some of the overflowed dough in a series of ziploc bags to freeze for use later.





The rest of the dough can go in the fridge until your ready to use it. Make sure the container isn't airtight.

Note to readers: Accidentally tripling a recipe and trying to force dough into containers that are too small can result in continued expansion in the fridge. Be ready for it.

When you're ready to bake your bread, just pull off a chunk of the dough.

The recipe calls for a baking stone. I do own a baking stone, but it's in storage in Seattle, along with all of my other real dishes, kitchen equipment, etc. My wise colleague Denise (who functions as my pseudo-maternal advisor in Shishmaref- "Um, Denise, if I bring this oil over, will you smell it and tell me if it's gone rancid? And then not judge me if it is?") suggested that I use a nice baking dish that would hold the heat evenly.





I do own a nice baking dish. I bought it in Paraguay. Steve made fun of me for carrying it all the way back into the U.S. and up to Alaska.

Note to readers: A small baking dish is nothing (in size or inconvenience) compared to the berimbau he brought back.





For those of you kitchen snobs, it is a Le Creuset baking dish. It is the only Le Creuset piece I own at this time. Steve has been warned that someday I intend to own a lot more.




I greased the dish with shortening.

Note to readers: this shot is completely staged. It turns out that I'm too uncoordinated to operate my camera or grease a pan with my left hand. I had to settle for holding-the-paper-towel-with-shortening-on-it with my left hand and operating my camera with the right.





Shape the dough into a ball and tuck all the edges underneath so that the top is smoothish. (This ball of dough will magically grow in the next few shots. Do not be alarmed. It is just a different batch of bread. VFN's Creative Cooking shows are not always shot in real time...)

Apparently, you can also shape the dough into sandwich loaves, but that technique hasn't been botched tried in VFN's test kitchens.





Let the dough sit for forty minutes. Preheat the oven at 450 sometime during this resting period.




Sprinkle the loaf, or boule, with flour...





and slice any design that makes your heart happy.

If you're really brave, you can bake the bread over a dish of water. Maybe you can avoid using a glass dish.





The final product has been greatly enjoyed in the Alaska Alston household.

Creative Cooking: Side Effects of Artisan Bread

One of the latest experiments is with artisanal (also spelled artesianal, ahrteezhunuhl) (just kidding, it's not spelled that way) bread. It involves making two weeks worth of dough at a time, cutting off the amount you need as you need it, and baking it over (here's the important part) a pan of water to allow for a steaming effect.

I'd like to be able to show you the beautiful results of a successful foray into the world of artisanal bread making. (Un)fortunately, what actually happened is much more interesting.

Note to concerned readers: the following post, combined with my most recent post of the hazards of moving organized bookshelves , may lead readers to assume that I have completely lost control of my life in a way in a way that brings to mind a vortex of despair and idiocy. This is only partially true. I am actually quite happy. Thank you.

On Sunday I made the bread with decent results, and brilliantly refrained from removing the pan of scalding water. "I'll take it out when it cools down," I wisely told myself.

On Monday I made the bread again. When I preheated the oven, I realized that the pyrex pan of water was still in the oven. "No problem," I said in my wise voice, welcoming the experimental phase of this new addition to my culinary repertoire, "maybe it will just make the oven extra steamy and even enhance the bread."

When the oven was nice and hot (this part is key), I decided I should add more water to the pan with a glass measuring cup. And I learned the stunning effect that room temperature water has on a hot glass dish:





I miraculously managed to avoid having my eyes and/or face impaled with glass shards, which was nice. (It also prompted me to immediately offer a prayer of gratitude- not kidding/joking/being sarcastic.)


Here is me trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing:



I was even in a good enough humor to pose a la Ego-Centric-Teenager-Obsessed-With-Self-Portraits-For-Use-As-Social-Networking-Profile-Pictures (remember, I teach Junior High and High School):



Check out that pout! (It almost disguises the fact that I have smeared mascara and no left thumb.)

FYI, an oven covered in glass shards will still bake a round of artisanal bread. In fact, these pictures were all taken after baking said bread (explaining the ease with which I posed on the oven door).

FYI.2 a round of artisanal bread baked in an oven covered with glass shards is actually quite excellent.

I plan on accepting my awards for culinary excellence and kitchen safety later this month.

Social Studies Does Not Always Rock

I'm getting a class set of laptops. That probably sounds like a weird thing to be complaining about, but consider the following things:

-A class set of laptops requires a laptop cart.

-The laptop cart was place in the middle of my classroom at the end of last week.

-There was no room for aforementioned laptop cart.

-Finding a place for the laptop cart required rearranging my entire classroom (probably long overdue, since the room's been basically the same since I came five years ago)

-I have several heavy shelves and bureaus in my classroom.

-I have no measurable upper body strength with which to move said heavy objects.

-The strapping boys in my student government class were thrilled (yeah right) to help me.

-The boys, whom I love dearly, have a tendency to be L-A-Z-Y.

-There is only one set of shelves in my classroom that is painstakingly organized.

-The boys dismissed the suggestions of their teacher (who is obviously dumb as dirt) to remove the books prior to relocating the shelves.





This was also the day before Parent-Teacher Conferences. Good thing I managed to find it in me to laugh and take a picture. :)

Pro: Develop Super Powers

[Sorry about the post title. It's reeking lamenessosity, but it was better than the alternative: Pro-Do Things You Never Considered Yourself Capable Of Doing. I almost vomited while typing that title. I tried adding a clarifying subtitle: This Post Sounds Cheesy, But It's Actually Not. However, I ultimately decided I didn't wanted to be associated with the original title, let alone attach my name to it. So I settle for something vaguely synonymous, if slightly inaccurate. :) ]


Shishmaref has presented the editor of VFN with a lot of first:

-eating various parts of marine mammals
-being lost in a blizzard on foot
-having my picture in the newspaper with a balloon shoved up my shirt
-and, losing my only pair of inside shoes so completely that I was forced to teach in my socks for a week.

Earlier this month, I experienced another first: making a wedding cake.

VFN readers may not appreciate the magnitude of this achievement, so allow me to share the following facts about myself:

-my first grade teacher used to make me stay inside during recess in order to practice coloring in the lines
-I couldn't tie my shoes until third grade
-when I told my brother (who I know for a FACT happens to ADORE me) that I was asked to make a wedding cake, he responded with, "Wow, that person must have been desperate."

Let's just say that a life of craftiness and hand-eye-coordination has not been mine...

However, I've recently teamed up with one of my students who oozes craftiness, good taste, and overall perfection. Daphne and I try to bake during as many weekends as possible, and our efforts have been met with good results and a reputation as skilled creators of all things yummy.




Leaning on a recipe recommendation from my sister (who inherited far more than her fair share of domestic ability) and the expertise of our heroes Bakerella and Pioneer Woman, we produced our first fondant creations. They were by far the cutest things I have ever been a part of (this parenthetical comment exists solely to prevent this sentence from ending with a preposition).





We produced a host of them and shared them with people who provided appropriate validation by ooohing and aaahing. (Steve does his best, but he can only feign so much interest in the adorable.)






Our next challenge was to master full size cake layers. Which we did. We also learned how to make fondant turtles and experimented with peppermint flavored fondant (which I loved, but Daph thought tasted like toothpaste).

(Note to Readers: Please consider not judging me based on the messy table and cake platter. Thank you.)






For the sake of comparison, this is Daph's.

(Note to Readers: Please see the note for the above picture. Thank you.)

We were happy with our mastery of larger-scale fondant use, but we weren't completely sure what to do to elevate our decorations from cute to elegant.




Luckily for the bride, the universe fortuitously send us Erin (Hey Universe, thanks!). Erin teaches Family and Consumer Sciences at NACTEC and minored in food garnishing. She made a visit to Shishmaref and agreed to teach my tutoring group (of which Daph is a part) how to make fondant roses.





Erin introduced us to all sorts of amazing things, including this little tool that we found in the Home Ec room that cuts perfect circles.

(Note to readers: I apologize for the blurriness of the above photo. I'd like to be able to say that one of my students commandeered my camera and took the photo, but I don't think that's true, and I try to avoid lying whenever possible. Please consider that there's an excellent chance that the photo is blurry because my fingers were covered in marshmallow fondant and not because I possess zero photo skills. Thank you.)




This photo documents my pathetic attempts at learning the art of edible flower sculpting. While I am using the correct technique of beginning with a series of an odd number of overlapped fondant circles, I used way too much water as an adhesive and ended up with a gooey mess.





Not surprisingly, Daphne was far better than me at creating sugary flora. It was at this point that I officially became her assistant.





We started on the actual cake two days early by making the cake layers and the fondant. The next day we made several fondant roses of various sizes.





When I say "we," I actually mean Daphne. I did apprentice level tasks like roll out the fondant, cut out the circles, and get Daph beverages.




We used a shiny frosting recipe from my Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.

(Tip: When you quadruple a frosting recipe you need to consider that, even with a Kitchen Aid, you will not be able to beat that much frosting. Even if you tackle it in two batches. Be prepared to beat the frosting to the appropriate stiffness in layers using your friend's hand mixer.)

(Tip: Quadrupling the Better Homes and Gardens Shiny Frosting Recipe results in way too much frosting.)





Kate helped us smooth the frosting. Kate also provided us with the pans in which to bake the cake. And all of the decorating tools. And her kitchen table. And her husband, who proved himself immensely useful.





The finished product with the topper the bride selected and ordered.


For most wedding cake creators, the hard part would be over. We still had to get the cake to the church. A challenge considering it was both windy and snowy on that typical Saturday afternoon. Kate's resourceful husband John saved the day by loading the cake into a sideways microwave box and taping a garbage bag over the open side. John was also the champion who carried the cake to the church. (Hey John, thanks!)





Image of the evil tape dispenser that prevented me from being able to assist John in the taping.






With the cake in place, Daph and I were free to enjoy the wedding.


Just because I know you're dying to see, I'll share my favorite moments of the wedding (please do not consider the following pictures as an accurate representation of my actual ability to take wedding photos. Consider that I was exhausted from the extremely stressful yet satisfying experience of baking the wedding cake. Also consider that a hard drive failure took with it my copy of Photoshop. For an example of an Alston with actual talent in wedding photography, see here) :



The ring bearer trying to wink at me...




The flower girl who got scared and froze halfway down the aisle (for maximum enjoyment, note the equally terrified flower girl seeking refuge on Grandma's right hip and the wedding guest sticking her pink camera into the aisle for a picture of the bride)...





The son of the bride and groom hiding under his mom's veil after fussing to be picked up in the middle of the ceremony but before being removed from the chapel (let's just say that the wedding was not the best day of his life nor the most fun he's ever experienced).

It was a great wedding. I was honored to be part of it.

Flat Stanley's Final Adventures

Flat Stanley had to return to his home in North Ogden, Utah. He enjoyed a Priority trip via the USPS. (Hey Post Office! Thanks for getting him there safely!) In his honor, I thought we would do a showcase of Flat Stanley's final adventures in Shishmaref.





FS made lots of new friends. Some of his friends were even cute girls! Wahoo!!!





One of FS's new friends even shared a candy bar with him! (Don't worry, no germs were spread.)





FS made cinnamon rolls. He was a little disappointed that he didn't get to learn how to butcher seals or walrus, but the school was having a little water shortage problem. No water = no way to clean up marine mammal guts = gross.





The older girls gave FS a lesson on scissor safety and let him help make kuspuks (traditional Inupiaq shirts). FS was going to make his own, but he didn't like the flowery material.





There was more sewing action in the elementary wing.





FS couldn't thread his own needle, but his stitches were nice and even.





FS was super excited when we let him paint. I guess he doesn't get to do that very often at home.





His finished product turned out pretty good. Way to go FS! (You'll notice he labeled the paper underneath his lantern so he could tell it apart from all the other ones.





FS even got to help the eighth graders make cotton candy for a fundraiser. That could have been a drag, but he got to eat some of the extra cotton candy, so it was all good.





FS watched some kids coloring Tlingit headbands.





The kids were especially cute and friendly.





They invited him to join in, and he got to show off his mad skills with a red crayon.





The finished products turned out pretty good.





This is FS with Peggy. Peggy came to Shishmaref from Fairbanks to teach art for Inupiaq Days.





FS took advantage of Peggy's expertise by creating a Zen Tangle under her direction.





FS also learned what happens when you have high cholesterol. Your blood is supposed to flow through your arteries like the tube on the left, but if you have high cholesterol your little blood beads get blocked like the tube on the right. Very sad.





I heart Flat Stanley.





Thanks for staying with us.