Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Creative Cooking: Side Effects of Artisan Bread

One of the latest experiments is with artisanal (also spelled artesianal, ahrteezhunuhl) (just kidding, it's not spelled that way) bread. It involves making two weeks worth of dough at a time, cutting off the amount you need as you need it, and baking it over (here's the important part) a pan of water to allow for a steaming effect.

I'd like to be able to show you the beautiful results of a successful foray into the world of artisanal bread making. (Un)fortunately, what actually happened is much more interesting.

Note to concerned readers: the following post, combined with my most recent post of the hazards of moving organized bookshelves , may lead readers to assume that I have completely lost control of my life in a way in a way that brings to mind a vortex of despair and idiocy. This is only partially true. I am actually quite happy. Thank you.

On Sunday I made the bread with decent results, and brilliantly refrained from removing the pan of scalding water. "I'll take it out when it cools down," I wisely told myself.

On Monday I made the bread again. When I preheated the oven, I realized that the pyrex pan of water was still in the oven. "No problem," I said in my wise voice, welcoming the experimental phase of this new addition to my culinary repertoire, "maybe it will just make the oven extra steamy and even enhance the bread."

When the oven was nice and hot (this part is key), I decided I should add more water to the pan with a glass measuring cup. And I learned the stunning effect that room temperature water has on a hot glass dish:

Photo 10

I miraculously managed to avoid having my eyes and/or face impaled with glass shards, which was nice. (It also prompted me to immediately offer a prayer of gratitude- not kidding/joking/being sarcastic.)

Here is me trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing:

Photo 15

I was even in a good enough humor to pose a la Ego-Centric-Teenager-Obsessed-With-Self-Portraits-For-Use-As-Social-Networking-Profile-Pictures (remember, I teach Junior High and High School):

Photo 16

Check out that pout! (It almost disguises the fact that I have smeared mascara and no left thumb.)

FYI, an oven covered in glass shards will still bake a round of artisanal bread. In fact, these pictures were all taken after baking said bread (explaining the ease with which I posed on the oven door).

FYI.2 a round of artisanal bread baked in an oven covered with glass shards is actually quite excellent.

I plan on accepting my awards for culinary excellence and kitchen safety later this month.


Karma said...

LOL. That's great. I broke a glass pan with coldish water once, too. Luckily, it was in my sink, not in my oven.

Did you mean to make those pictures private? When I tried to get a better view of the glass shards it took me to flickr and said that was a private photo.

Super Angie said...

Permissions on pictures changed to allow my Flickr friends to see close ups. Please try to avoid judging me. :)

Breezi said...

AHHHH Scary! This summer my friend was canning tomatoes and poured cold water in the water bath.... all of her jars exploded spewing boiling hot tomatoes all over her (some nice 3rd degree burns) and one of the flying shards got her about 15 stitches. All of this happened as her 3 year old and 2 year old twins were in the kitchen too. Luckily they were safe.
You definitely had some protection going for you :)

Can't wait to see a picture of you accepting your award :)

Missy G said...

WOW! I'm glad the bread turned out good.

Colleen Marie said...

Oh, the angst! Now, do one from really high up where you look at the camera, now do one where you can still see your arm holding the camera, now do one. . .

Word verification word: Deesse

JEM said...

Holy crap, Angie! I want to offer a prayer of gratitude right now, too, that you didn't lose your face in this incident.

Nick and Brent said...

Yikes! I'm glad you don't need stitches! That's crazy about the dish, and hilarious about your bookcase. :)

Mark & Bek said...

That sounds really scary, glad you didn't lose an eye.

Sam said...

Poor thumbless sap...

cathy...st maries said...

I really need to make a point of reading this blog more often....laughing so hard tonight I can hardly stand myself...thanks for sharing.

tonksfam said...

I feel your pain. I had a similar experience, but I was left holding two pot-holders containing the handles of the shattered glass dish, while the chocolate fudge it contained scalded and warped the linoleum of my kitchen floor! Thankfully, I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt which protected my arms. I completely understand the prayer of gratitude that no one was hurt. When I got over the shock enough to move again I do believe I said the same prayer.