Creative Cooking: Side Effects of Artisan Bread

One of the latest experiments is with artisanal (also spelled artesianal, ahrteezhunuhl) (just kidding, it's not spelled that way) bread. It involves making two weeks worth of dough at a time, cutting off the amount you need as you need it, and baking it over (here's the important part) a pan of water to allow for a steaming effect.

I'd like to be able to show you the beautiful results of a successful foray into the world of artisanal bread making. (Un)fortunately, what actually happened is much more interesting.

Note to concerned readers: the following post, combined with my most recent post of the hazards of moving organized bookshelves , may lead readers to assume that I have completely lost control of my life in a way in a way that brings to mind a vortex of despair and idiocy. This is only partially true. I am actually quite happy. Thank you.

On Sunday I made the bread with decent results, and brilliantly refrained from removing the pan of scalding water. "I'll take it out when it cools down," I wisely told myself.

On Monday I made the bread again. When I preheated the oven, I realized that the pyrex pan of water was still in the oven. "No problem," I said in my wise voice, welcoming the experimental phase of this new addition to my culinary repertoire, "maybe it will just make the oven extra steamy and even enhance the bread."

When the oven was nice and hot (this part is key), I decided I should add more water to the pan with a glass measuring cup. And I learned the stunning effect that room temperature water has on a hot glass dish:





I miraculously managed to avoid having my eyes and/or face impaled with glass shards, which was nice. (It also prompted me to immediately offer a prayer of gratitude- not kidding/joking/being sarcastic.)


Here is me trying to have a good attitude about the whole thing:



I was even in a good enough humor to pose a la Ego-Centric-Teenager-Obsessed-With-Self-Portraits-For-Use-As-Social-Networking-Profile-Pictures (remember, I teach Junior High and High School):



Check out that pout! (It almost disguises the fact that I have smeared mascara and no left thumb.)

FYI, an oven covered in glass shards will still bake a round of artisanal bread. In fact, these pictures were all taken after baking said bread (explaining the ease with which I posed on the oven door).

FYI.2 a round of artisanal bread baked in an oven covered with glass shards is actually quite excellent.

I plan on accepting my awards for culinary excellence and kitchen safety later this month.